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WRITING A POEM.......I THOUGHT AT LEAST !

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20111105

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WRITING A POEM.......I THOUGHT AT LEAST !




Don't you just LOVE it when you know you have a poem all written out, you go and post it, then when it's all written out, it's soo short that you want to try and write it a little longer ?
I'm at a stall with my poem "NOVEMBER SKIES" in making it a little longer.. deep thought doh
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Dori

Posts : 526
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Join date : 2010-11-22
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WRITING A POEM.......I THOUGHT AT LEAST ! :: Comments

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Post on Sun Nov 06 2011, 21:33  BC Williams

And WHAT, may I ask little lady, is wrong with a short poem? You might find yourself quite fastionably 'short' . . . if you do a bit of research!

Take a look at this:

When Roses cease to bloom, Sir
by Emily Dickinson

When Roses cease to bloom, Sir,
And Violets are done --
When Bumblebees in solemn flight
Have passed beyond the Sun --
The hand that paused to gather
Upon this Summer's day
Will idle lie -- in Auburn --
Then take my flowers -- pray!


OR:

La Fuite de la Lune
by Oscar Wilde

To outer senses there is peace,
A dreamy peace on either hand,
Deep silence in the shadowy land,
Deep silence where the shadows cease.

Save for a cry that echoes shrill
From some lone bird disconsolate;
A corncrake calling to its mate;
The answer from the misty hill.

And suddenly the moon withdraws
Her sickle from the lightening skies,
And to her sombre cavern flies,
Wrapped in a veil of yellow gauze.


Or maybe:

will you teach a wretch to live ...
by e.e. cummings

(will you teach a
wretch to live
straighter than a needle)
ask
her
ask
when
(ask and
ask
and ask
again and)ask a
brittle little
person fiddling
in
the
rain


This is good and short:

Morning at the Window
by T. S. Eliot

They are rattling breakfast plates in basement kitchens,
And along the trampled edges of the street
I am aware of the damp souls of housemaids
Sprouting despondently at area gates.
The brown waves of fog toss up to me
Twisted faces from the bottom of the street,
And tear from a passer-by with muddy skirts
An aimless smile that hovers in the air
And vanishes along the level of the roofs.


THIS is the world's shortest poem written by Anon:

Fleas
Adam
Had 'em.

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Post on Mon Nov 07 2011, 08:20  Dori

OK point taken Bev lol

(clears throat)"every SHORT person can write a great SHORT poem" ha ha ha

OK I'll post the one that I have, I posted it years ago but wanted to add a bit more to it.. deep thought Very Happy

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Post on Mon Nov 07 2011, 15:14  peewee

My feelings on this are those of the formal letter

Keep it short and to the point. Most but not all poems should have a beginning, a middle, and an end.
Too many verses, and the reader will become tired.
Some of the best poems are short and to the point

If it feels right don't mess with it, as that could do more damage

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Post on Mon Nov 07 2011, 15:57  Dori

Thanks Peter, it did seem or feel right, it seemed like there was something missing from the poem.

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Post on Tue Nov 08 2011, 18:05  BC Williams

Most of the poems I'm happy with are those I've written, let sit, then go back to. Some of the greatest poets from the past and present take weeks, months, or even years editing a poem. There is nothing wrong with this! Nothing . . . so when you feel something is missing, the best thing to do is back off for a time. Let the thing sit until you forget it (or forget the essence of it). When you come back later and do that first read through, it's amazing how clear it finally seems. THEN, you'll most likely know what to do.

deep thought

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Post on Tue Nov 08 2011, 21:14  Dori

Thanks Bev, that's what I did with this one, I posted it a few days ago tho as I figure I wasn't going to go any further with it.. lol

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