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Unfinished..

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Unfinished..

Post  Lucie on Mon Apr 09 2012, 03:51

On a sandy beach afar
Upon a dune, a twinkling star
On closer counts it was a shell
Within, 'a Something' , I couldn't tell.
The clam, shut tight- inside a-knocking
What could it be? And was it shocking?
Intrigued I couldn't leave it be
Infact, I couldn't wait to see
But how or what would ever open?
Was there a secret word need spoken?
I sat around it, all day till' night
But all the words I used weren't right
No blade nor stone could crack it's rim
I racked my mind how to get in?!
Just then, the sun sank into the sea
Twas then the answer came to me
For as the moon shone in the sky
The shell it shook, It began to pry..
...


( Ok Jinetty.finish pls)
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Re: Unfinished..

Post  BC Williams on Mon Apr 09 2012, 04:01

Good land this is beautiful! Girl, you're a wonder. One thing I love about your writing is you're not stuck in a style of patterned meter - we never know what to expect next!

Okay Jin, the challenge lay before you . . .

deep thought

PS: Lucie, do you read a lot of poetry?

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Re: Unfinished..

Post  Lucie on Tue Apr 10 2012, 00:11

No , just think thoughts in nonsense rhyme.. :D
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Re: Unfinished..

Post  BC Williams on Tue Apr 10 2012, 04:36

Now, now . . . truth: your mum read you lots of something when you were growing up?

But . . . you come from the land of the poets. Wonder which great you descend from?

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Re: Unfinished..

Post  jinettyx on Tue Apr 10 2012, 13:17

Thankyou for the challenge......It may take a little while so watch this space.

Can't help thinking I've been put on the spot.....Lol!

It's like a poetry tag..... high 5
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Unfinished

Post  jinettyx on Tue Apr 10 2012, 14:55

Unfinished..
Lucie Yesterday at 10:51
+
-
On a sandy beach afar
Upon a dune, a twinkling star
On closer counts it was a shell
Within, 'a Something' , I couldn't tell.
The clam, shut tight- inside a-knocking
What could it be? And was it shocking?
Intrigued I couldn't leave it be
Infact, I couldn't wait to see
But how or what would ever open?
Was there a secret word need spoken?
I sat around it, all day till' night
But all the words I used weren't right
No blade nor stone could crack it's rim
I racked my mind how to get in?!
Just then, the sun sank into the sea
Twas then the answer came to me
For as the moon shone in the sky
The shell it shook, It began to pry..
It was a strange and funny sight
This thing that opened up at night.
I never saw a thing so mad
I waited long and I was glad..
The smallest crack, eyes open wide
A moment passed, something inside
Did squirm and tickle the rim of shell
And eventually I spied as well
Was it a foot? A hungry tongue?
Whatever it was…I didn’t run
But sat and wondered…strange this be
To find a clam far from the sea
To hear the knocking from within
To see ‘it’ escaping from the rim
Only to watch with cap in hand
While the mysterious ‘thing’ dug into sand
And all too quick, the clam was gone
Beneath the sand, while the moon still shone.
I lingered not, for what to see?
A shell had run away from ME..!!

(c) Lucie and Jinetty tagged high 5


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Re: Unfinished..

Post  RichieO on Tue Apr 10 2012, 15:47

Absolutely fabulous the both of you Lucie and Jin, I ditto Bev comments you both have a natural talent for the written word.
Just love reading your thoughts girls keep em coming.... give flowers clapping
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Re: Unfinished..

Post  jinettyx on Tue Apr 10 2012, 16:04

You Jin, I can just image your Curtsy......lol
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Unfinihed

Post  RichieO on Tue Apr 10 2012, 16:12

Don't know happened there Jin, with my last comment, I should have said I can just imagine you doing a Curtsey....lol
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Re: Unfinished..

Post  BC Williams on Tue Apr 10 2012, 20:24

If I hadn't known where the break was . . . you two are something! A mother and daughter poetry tag team. Wonderful!

Very Happy

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Re: Unfinished..

Post  Lucie on Wed Apr 11 2012, 02:13

Bravo, you clever little wizard, i diddn't want to reveal its secret either!
Like a Star @ heaven Like a Star @ heaven Like a Star @ heaven
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Re: Unfinished..

Post  jinettyx on Wed Apr 11 2012, 12:01

Sorry Lou.....Did I reveal too much???

Thanks Bev for the tag comment...

Methinks we should ALL pair up for another challenge!..Hahaha! deep thought

Thanks Richie x
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Re: Unfinished..

Post  Lucie on Wed Apr 11 2012, 16:31

TAG you're it! scribe
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Re: Unfinished..

Post  jinettyx on Thu Apr 12 2012, 05:50

Haha Been IT for years!! deep thought doh high 5
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